Women yearn for the parasite that gives you explosive diarrhea
The invisibility of health leadership on social media and in government takes a toll
“Cyclospora” sounds like the Final Boss monster Odysseus has to face before finally getting home.
She’s hidden, disguised in some of summer’s sweetest offerings. Then she’s dormant, her menacing presence only revealed when you think you’ve made it to safety. Suddenly your body is a temple no more. Destroyed from the inside out. Pain and suffering, just like Homer drew it up.
I wish I could tell you this terror is purely mythological. But the “cyclospora” I’m talking about is both in the room with us and wreaking the exact havoc I described. Before I get into what on earth is going on here and why content creators are being extra crazy about it, I’m actually including a content warning here for once:
You’re going to hear “explosive diarrhea” more times than you would like in this post (but fewer times than if you contracted this parasite yourself, trust me). This is not a creative choice by yours truly. “Explosive diarrhea” is the term journalists and medical professionals are using. Thank you, and I’m sorry.
Cyclosporiasis. What a beautiful name. This foodborne illness has seized the gastrointestinal tracts of 5,000 of Americans — that we know of — in 30+ states — that we know of. Mission: Impossible to know the real count. More than half of reported cases are in Michigan. As of writing this on the afternoon of July 14, the origin of this outbreak is still unknown.
No federal official has appeared in front of press to brief Americans on risks, tracing, or management of this outbreak or answer questions about it. RFK Jr., who helms HHS which oversees the CDC and the FDA, has not posted about this on social media. He has posted 12 #throwback photos on his personal and one AI image of him speaking to a bald eagle on his official government account.
Dr. Céline Gounder told me moments like these require “leadership and guidance coming from the top.” A former FDA employee told Dr. Gounder, on background, that “RFK is kind of checked out” outside of his “pet issues.” So without any “clear information and leadership, you don’t have very good coordination,” which allows mis- and disinformation to proliferate.
But early revelations prompted by cyclosporiasis aren’t just medical and political — they’re cultural too. And on that front, let me just say, you’re all scaring me. Four social trends that actually worry me, how Taco Bell is going from zero to hero, and a real doctor’s orders … all below!
TRENDING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION
Normal, polite coverage? Of insurgent, explosive diarrhea? In this creator economy? Yeah, right. Almost all of the content that surfaced in my algorithm sent a shiver down my spine because of something it revealed about who we are as people and where we are as a country. I ranked four trends according to absurdity (and included my gripes with them all).
“They said” — 2/10 😅
Don’t mistake a low rating here for a belief that this isn’t a problem. It is. But “hearsay” content is not exclusive to this cyclospora outbreak. Once you tune your ears to it, you’ll notice it everywhere. In this case, here are some examples:
📲: @expenzive_talk | 230k likes, 4M views
“They’re saying that you might need to stay away from berries … They’re saying that you might need to stay away from broccoli …”
📲: @enzi777777 | 67k likes, 1.2M views
“I’ve also heard it’s not just limited to vegetables, it might be on some berries too.”
Grace Note: I’ll keep this simple, WHOOOOOO is saying that? WHEREEEE did you hear that? You should hear an internal bell ding on command whenever someone says this on the internet or to you in real life. Train the referee that lives in your head that these words should trigger an automatic review — even if what they are saying is later proven true.
“Always be selling” — 4/10 😵💫
This one is a given at this point. If paranoia is building about an obscure health threat (real or fake), you can bet your ass the alternative health girlies are mobilizing and monetizing on that fear. I came across a dynamic duo who just so happen to have the perfect product for this moment. What are the chances of that!
🌸: @KaleBlossom | 740k followers
Promoting an affiliate link (they make commission off of) for a parasite botanical cleanse … that’s 30% off.
Para-Shield will run you $49 for less than one fluid ounce.
Grace Note: This behavior never exists in a vacuum — commerce is just one planet in the vast science-skeptical solar system, concentrated on Instagram. You can only scroll so far in their feed before you reach other known planets. The duo posted two videos with almost 1M views between them promoting a conspiracy theory that this parasite has been intentionally released (by whom, once again) to “scare people into wanting future” mRNA vaccine treatments.
What’s up, doc?
“I think a major red flag is if somebody’s selling you something … the narrative here is mainstream medicine, don’t trust them. It’s big pharma, don’t trust the FDA. But I have something that works. They’re not telling you. They won’t tell you, but I have something that works and pay me, buy it for me. And if it’s framed in that way, you can be a hundred percent sure that is disinformation.” — Dr. Céline Gounder
“How would I know?” — 8/10 🫣
Ok. On the scale of harm to our socio-political fabric, this ranks lower than the rest. But remember, we’re measuring on the scale of content that freaked me out most. I … never in a million years did I expect to open an app and see dozens of people announcing to millions of people that they suffer from explosive diarrhea regularly.
For the sake of readability I will be abbreviating the subject matter to “ex-dia” —
💩: It’s just ex-dia, I have ex-dia every day I will be fine, I’m so much less scared now
💩: I’m not even sure I would realize if I got the ex-dia parasite thing, that’s just Tuesday
💩: Sounds like a normal Tuesday for me (wtf is up with Tuesdays??)
💩: Lowkey would not know if I had the ex-dia parasite or not
💩: I’ve got ex-dia. I don’t need the parasite ... I’m already ex-dia-ing
Grace Note: ……………………… what is it that compels a person to get on the internet — in a video format, no less — and announce the intimate details of the extremely volatile state of their bowel activity to as many strangers as possible? I really do blame social media for the social acceptance of this kind of outburst.
I would prefer this specific type of “relatability” content stay in group chats where friends, family, or maybe even medical professionals have consented to hearing about your incurable, recurring diarrhea. And on that note, I hope everyone has scheduled a colonoscopy in the near future.
“Give it to me” — 11/10 🫥
This is where the social, medical, and emotional all meet. I wouldn’t say this is a novel trend, especially during summer months, but I would say this is the most saturated an extreme weight loss trend has become in so little time. People online are openly saying they want to contract cyclosporiasis.
🤦♂️: Yes there are men in the mix — like this one who bought raspberries to get the “shit your pants and lose 20 pounds virus” (500k likes), or this one who said “give it to me now … I’m tryna be snatched” (550k likes)
👭: Women are the key demographic fueling this trend:
“losing a few pounds from a parasite doesn’t sound that bad right now”
The most common format for this trend features a woman holding produce, hinting that she’s going to eat it: This TikTok has 360k likes.
Lettuce + “Me: after months of trying to lose these last 10 pounds” (140k)
At the grocery store + When “you need a jumpstart to your weight loss” (83k)
Raspberries + “Me: after trying to lose these last 10 pounds” (16k)
Strawberries + “I could mess with losing 10 pounds this week” (4k)
Grace Note: I’m gonna hold their hand while I say this (so I can’t use it to whack them across the head), this fucking blows. We’re already ducking “summer body” fitspo, GLP-1 TV ads, celebrities doing their best disappearing act, friends or family members we worry about, and the voice inside our own heads that is dedicated to chiming in at only the most inopportune times.
We’re going to add a parasite created from fecal matter to the ever-expanding list of things we’re willing to endure to potentially drop that last five? I’m like damn … we are really never gonna know peace.
MY ANTIHEROES
Every action has its equal and opposite reaction or whatever. There’s a funny force pushing back on the let-me-contract-a-parasite-to-be-skinny narrative above.
Look at all these gals enjoying their (so-far-cyclospora-less) junkfood — gorg, stunning, 10/10, obsessed, fabulous, thank you
This girl who said you know where you’re not gonna find that shit? “Inside of a salami … inside of a hot dog … goldfish crackers … Reese’s-filled peanut butter pretzels.” Say that.
And I love all of these people saying “you know what never gave me a parasite?” Nerds Gummy Clusters. Red Wine. White Wine. Ice Cream. Diet Coke. Margarita.
Lastly: Taco Bell is somehow … maybe … going to come out on top? They preemptively took all their (micro bits) of produce off their menu because they have their suspicions about it. The official Democrats TikTok account said TB is “doing more to stop the diarrhea outbreak than the Trump admin.” I mean, true! So, they’re actually being celebrated for their efforts. The bar is very low when the government is doing absolutely nothing.
Taco Bell and Costco having more predictive intelligence than the CDC is crazy. Great point.
THE DOCTOR IS IN
While I had her on the line, I wanted to get the quickest possible education in what we should look for when evaluating social media content that looks like it’s from a doctor.
“This is one of the top trending topics on social media right now. So if you’re looking to grow your audience, you’re gonna pile on this cyclosporiasis conversation. And what you really need to look at is, not only, is that person a doctor? Do they have actual expertise in something like this? Do they have expertise in infectious diseases? Do they have epidemiology experience? Do they have public health experience? Those are sort of the key types of expertise you would be looking for. And unfortunately, I’d say most of the health influencers, including doctors who are speaking about this on social media right now, are not qualified to do so.”
If you made it this far, you’re deserve something extra good — from our friends at Goodable.
98-Year-Old Car Lover Hits 130 MPH on Racetrack, Fulfilling a Lifelong Dream
“Patricia Elliot is a lifelong enthusiast of sports cars and was driven in an Aston Martin at Thruxton Race Circuit in Andover.
The former British Aerospace employee and resident at Dower House care home in Winchester didn’t hesitate when offered the opportunity.
She said: ‘I don’t think we even had 130 mph on the speedometer in my day.’
‘I’ve been around for quite a long time now, but this is one of those memories that will really stick with me — it’s not something I’ll ever forget.’”
Me again: Patty, I expect to see you push Max Verstappen to his limit at Silverstone next year. We are all rooting for you.
This was explosively entertaining and informative.
Seems like a lot of people don’t know the difference between regular diarrhea and ex-dia. Regular diarrhea is as American as apple pie.
That’s amazing that a 98 year old woman drove a sports car 130mph without dying!