Trump goes Scrooge mode and everyone hated it
The speech with no holiday cheer to be found
You’re here because you’re watching politics get body-slammed by digital culture and content creators. I’m here because I’m the only one who can guide you through it.
I would have emptied my bank account to be in the White House Diplomatic Room for the couple of minutes that immediately followed Trump’s speech.
Can you even imagine what was said? My guess is that it was more or less the same vibe as reassuring a friend who sent something totally unhinged to the person that they’re dating:
It’s rare that Trump chucks up the equivalent of a media airball twice in one week.1 Perhaps that’s why so many were so quick to buy into a theory that this Razzie-winning production was being staged to announce the start of a war with Venezuela. When this balloon was floated to me yesterday, I said, if anything, this is a speech about his accomplishments to provide cover for the start of a war with Venezuela.
As usual, I am thrilled to be wrong. But I’m guessing patient zero of the war assertion, Tucker Carlson, is probably not thrilled that he and the mystery congressional source2 he cited were wrong. On a podcast 10 hours before the speech, Carlson got a question about whether we’re awaiting a Venezuela announcement. His response:
“I’m very interested, and so here’s what I know so far, which is that members of Congress were briefed yesterday, that a war is coming, and it’ll be announced in the address to the nation tonight at 9 o’clock by the president. Who knows, by the way, if that will actually happen. I don’t know. And I never want to overstate what I know, which is pretty limited in general, but a member of Congress told me that this morning.”
Two things can be true at once: Tying information to a member of Congress is always gonna make information feel sturdy enough that people feel comfortable spreading it. At the same time … would you take what he said to the casino (literally) and gamble with it? I sure as hell wouldn’t. People who did, rightfully raged against Carlson into the night.
That sideshow revealed one of the hills viewers could plant their flag on in response to the speech: Trump pulled off an incredible, intentional bait and switch.
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BAIT AND SWITCH
The Daily Wire’s Michael Knowles served as a bit of a flagbearer in this respect. But this belief — whether genuine or not — was way way way more widespread than I thought it would be. Knowles called it a “fake out,” other labels include:
Jack Posobiec joined Steve Bannon’s postgame livestream to commend the White House for running an “information operation” of “strategic leaks, making people think this is gonna be about Venezuela.” Jacob Creech, who posts under the pseudonym “Clandestine,” said this tactical strategy was the only way Trump could get covered by the networks.
I think people are varying degrees of serious on this take. Like the ones above? Dead fucking ass. But Emily Jashinsky, host of “After Party” on Megyn Kelly’s network, was all smiles and laughs when her guest Tom Bevan joked that it was a psyop.3
FOR WHOM THE SPEECH FLOPS
The right had issues with the tone and purpose, The left had issues with … all of it.
Right: Bevan (^) called Trump out for using his “outside voice.” Steve Bannon asked three different guests on his show if they thought the message was delivered successfully to the average American watching, or if he was too intense. Two Real America’s Voice hosts mostly dodged the question (which is an inadvertent answer). Their White House correspondent/MTG’s boo Brian Glenn got right to it:
“I’m just being truthful. I mean people aren’t used to seeing Trump. That’s a bit much to take when you’re not used to seeing him in that form […] It might’ve been a little too intense for them. But let’s hope they took a little nugget here or there…”
Other criticism on the right: Matt Walsh called it “perhaps the most pointless primetime presidential address ever delivered.” Comedian Dave Smith accused him of “squandering the greatest opportunity in modern American history.” Ex-Infowars conspiracist Owen Shroyer walked through his massive crisis of faith in a video, saying the “charisma,” the “aura,” the “swagger” were gone, and “the message was stale.”
Left: Their reaction was half spiraling about how bad it was and half getting jokes off.
TYT’s David Shuster is ready for the 25th Amendment
A lot of dementia alarms being sounded
David Pakman wondered if he was deliberately sabotaged
YouTubers Philip DeFranco and Hutch were two of the many who pointed out that this is pretty much the same speech he always gives
One of the big “Anonymous” accounts posted that this could’ve been an email, and I’m here to report, it was! At 9:11 PM, during the speech, the Office of Communications sent out this email:
THE HOPELESS ROMANTICS
One of the few things in life that is absolutely guaranteed: that the president’s most die-hard supporters are always gonna be there for him. Even on the bad days. Jealous! Their strategy is pretty transparent once you know. It’s player’s choice — extract success from whatever he said about your single issue. If your crusade is overlooked, focus on his strength and Biden’s weakness.
Brilyn Hollyhand: “Biden couldn’t speak past sundown. But it didn’t matter becuase [sic] he didn’t have any accomplishments to speak on. What a difference a year makes!”
Johnny MAGA: “Say what you want… the guy just shows up and performs under pressure. We’ve never seen anything like this in our lifetimes. I couldn’t feel more secure with him steering the ship.”
Sara Rose: “The left are crying that Trump cooked tonight, and they know Biden could never do a speech like this without sounding like he had a ball sack in his mouth.”
I think that’s MORE THAN enough of that for the year.
LOVE ISLAND DC
I’m gonna need to know which of these freshly engaged couples you’d dump from the villa (the White House, obvi).
Marjorie Taylor Green + Brian Glenn
At 6 PM on Dec. 15, the couple posted their news from dinner at Joe’s DC. From the looks of it, Brian’s eating the shrimp pasta ($38.95) with a rye old fashioned and Marge is having the Chilean Sea Bass ($49.95) with what looks like a Hemingway Daiquiri. They’re quitting their jobs running away together to Georgia (the state, not country) so I think they’re the real deal.
Donald Trump Jr. + Bettina Anderson
This would be Junior’s third engagement by my count — after not going through with marrying Gavin Newsom’s ex-wife/the current ambassador to Greece. The timeline of their link up is a little … cloudy, but Bettina seemed right at home on stage at the White House when her future father-in-law shared the nuptials. Her ring could take your eye out.
Laura Loomer + ???
Trump Sr. also blurted out Loomer’s life update, not realizing she wasn’t particularly keen on sharing the news. Her vibes are very much “my fiancé goes to another school, you wouldn’t know him” adding an emoji over his face in her social announcement. The two met on a plane and she’s weighing what to do about a name change, saying she loves her alliteration but doesn’t want to be mistaken for a feminist if she doesn’t take his name.
His first miss (the Rob Reiner post) caused a crazy uproar
People are guessing its MTG which is prob not a bad guess
Psyop definition for anyone who forgot