How both parties pulled up to the Super Special Shutdown Shindig
If the Democrats’ best communicator is MIA and Mike Johnson locked all the Capitol doors, then who is running the government? (No one).
Does anyone want to place a long-shot bet that there’s actually a deal on the table to avoid a shutdown at 11:59PM? Does anyone not have a small part of them thinking the Dems could fold? Are there any Republicans who actually are on vacation already? Can anyone hear me? Lmk if you have any answers, I beg.
On the record today: How each party geared up for the shutdown (Bernie and Warren vs. Johnson and Vance), plus: gay revelations for Republicans, doing stand-up for Sheikhs, and medbeds for everyone.
FROM THE LEFT’S PEOPLE IN CHARGE:
IN HIS OWN WORDS: Fighting Trump with Trump is a tried and true strategy because there’s a backpedal for basically everything. Cory Booker posted multiple videos of pre-POTUS Trump pinning the blame for shutdowns on the executive. Schumer shared and so did Sens. Chris Van Hollen, Tim Kaine, and Tina Smith.
GIVE US SOME FACE TIME: It took me 4 hours and 26 mins to find a single high-quality, social-native video from a Dem about the looming shutdown. Rep. Melanie Stansbury opted against the lecturing of her colleagues, like Ro Khanna, in favor of cranking the absurdity factor up to 11, trying to find a single unlocked door so she can get to work as the GOP flees.
OUT OF FOCUS: All the other shutdown content was kind of a flop. Thank god Pelosi said “shit” and “fuck.” Warren is blitzing. Jamie Raskin’s 5-minute video was fine. The rally on the steps of the Capitol had as much energy as I do the morning after a bender. Jeffries is tweeting MLK quotes. An airport announcement completely drowns out this Rep. The party’s creator-fronted YouTube show has 337 views. But the most shocking thing of all: AOC, the party’s best communicator, is silent on social.
FROM THE RIGHT’S PEOPLE IN CHARGE:
LINE DANCING: I imagine being in Congress is sort of like being in an elementary school play. As a leader, you hope that everyone learns the lines and sings the chorus in unison. When it’s showtime, Republicans always know their lines. This time it’s “health care for illegal immigrants.” You can explore 21 examples1 in the footnote.
HUD ARE YOU DOING: Housing and Urban Development is trying to get ahead of the storm by making sure certain critical infrastructure remains online. From what I can tell, that critical infrastructure is just this enormous banner on their website, followed by the same enormous banner on the homepage when you close out of the first one.
GET IT TRENDING: #SchumerShutdown is trending with over 166,000 posts. Congressional Republicans have gone balls to the wall pinning this on Chuck. I couldn’t place why it sounded so familiar to me until I remembered the 2018 #SchumerShutdown branded by Ted Cruz, Eric and Don Jr., Kayleigh McEnany, et al.
FROM THE LEFT WING:
“DL DEMON QUEENS:” Liberal content creators are going absolutely feral over outing gay Republicans. Whether it’s all jokes or absolutely deadass, I can’t tell. But it started with sensationalized videos on Grindr crashing in Arizona around the Kirk funeral — which the gay dating app denies. But it just kept spiralling. Keith Edwards (gay), Lance from The Serf Times (bi), and the IHIP ladies (straight) all allege Benny Johnson is gay. Welch & Pumps put out a second video with a powerpoint of more accusations: Rubio, Pence, and Hawley. “Hypocrisy” comes up over and over again.
OH MY RIYADH: As free speech is threatened in the U.S., comics are finding solace in the warm embrace of a kingdom that always lives up to liberty: Saudi Arabia. 50 comedians — Dave Chappelle, Kevin Hart, Louis C.K., Bill Burr, etc. — are taking the censored stage, and peers and creators are fucking pissed. Marc Maron called it the “bloodiest money” on the planet. Gianmarco Soresi said they’ll have “failed” their comedic duties if they’re not banned or kicked out. David Cross: “All of your bitching about ‘cancel culture’ and freedom of speech’ … Done.” Even Shane Gillis, no flagbearer of the left, had the wherewithal to turn it down saying, “you don’t 9/11 your friends.”
FROM THE RIGHT WING:
GET WELL SOON: Trump reposed an AI video promoting “medbed” technology and availability for all Americans. I’m sure that meant nothing to you, but for a small cohort of QAnon hangeroners it felt something like a virtual knighting. Celebration broke out on Truth Social that the healing tech that has been “suppressed since 1887” is “finally happening.” It “detects distortions in your cellular field” and can keep people, like JFK and Nikola Tesla, alive for 1,000 extra years (but only if you’re unvaxxed). Oh and it will be free. And soon they’ll be able to regrow limbs.
BRILYN’S WILD RIDE: Readers of this newsletter will remember 2 weeks ago when I mentioned Brilyn Hollyhand. I didn’t think his meteoric rise would go at warp speed — 100k followers gained on IG, a Trump mention, spots on CNN & Fox, and a TPUSA partnership. A video of Brilyn on a chartered flight between speaking stops put a bitter taste in the mouths of millions (39M) seeing him for the first time. “He’s an Israeli-plant made in a lab by Ben Shapiro and Bibi Netanyahu. An out of touch rich kid. A young Lindsey Graham. He’s intentionally nonthreatening.” Nick Fuentes called him a country bumpkin. The most cutting were the accusations that he was fabricating the TPUSA collaboration and grifting off their name. He defended himself and Charlie Kirk’s producer wished him well. Messy.
LOOSE ENDS:
📝 Word I learned today: dedollarize
de-dollarization entails a significant reduction in the use of dollars in world trade and financial transactions — “China is shoring up gold reserves, presumably in an attempt to dedollarize.” (via kyla scanlon, Who’s Getting Rich Off Your Attention?)
📰 Something you should read today: The Leftist Podcaster Who Studies Online Radicalization — The New Yorker (Joshua Citarella)
🕵️ Someone you should know today: If you can’t trace something back to Stephen Miller in this Trump administration, you can trace it back to Russell Vought.
🥹 Something to make you smile today: NBA Media Day was yesterday which means I have a reason to keep living during this mess. And Jaylen Brown (my favorite player on my favorite team) brought his best friend to work … the one and only, Bill Nye.