Kash Patel’s Olympics Power Play
FBI boss slams beers with USA hockey during an "official work trip"
I’m not kidding, the video of our FBI Director chugging a beer like a washed-up, B-tier frat boy was the most embarrassing thing I have ever seen.
If I had to guess, I’ve watched it over 100 times — autoplay remains a scourge in our society. Am I saying I, a washed-up, B-tier frat friend, would’ve behaved any differently in that situation? Not at all. I’m fairly certain I would behave worse. But then again …
I’m not the director of the FBI. Kash Patel is. And for being a distinctly little man, Kash Patel really always gives us a lot to unpack. There’s something foundational to understand what’s underlying all of this drama: Patel does not play when it comes to hockey. He might love hockey more than anything else on Earth.
He declined to give up his men’s hockey league after being confirmed by Congress. Funny enough, his team’s called “The Dons.” Pablo Torre naturally has an amazing segment on this. Here’s what his teammates say about him as a player:
“...a gritty defenseman in his own right, won’t wow you with his stick skills…”
“He’s a tough kid, and definitely, he always wants to be out there.” (45 y/o man btw)
“...he’s very smart [...] and he knows he’s not the most skilled guy out there, but he knows the right plays to make, to not expose himself.”
But it’s this quote from a teammate that sums up the problem here:
“He’ll get in the dirty areas and grind and work really hard. Doesn’t expect a thank you or anything. He just goes out and basically does his job, and he fits in well.”
While that work ethic might be present on the ice, it’s something that’s been frequently abandoned in his day job. People take note, especially on behalf of the Guthrie family. The same day Kash was presumably performing an air guitar solo to “Free Bird” in Italy, law enforcement shot and killed an armed man who rushed onto Mar-a-Lago property in search of the president.
Seems like something the FBI chief might want to take a look at. After he finishes his beer, of course.
Grace note: You’re like, “It’s Monday? And I’m getting a post from Who Broke It?” Yes! This week we’re doing Monday and Wednesday because of my SOTU event tomorrow. Hope to see some of you there.
CLEARED FOR TAKEOFF
I’m just not sure how I feel about staffers running interference for their bosses via Twitter. I suppose it’s better than agency heads firing off drunk replies to criticism themselves. The FBI’s Assistant Director for Public Affairs Ben Williamson is working overtime to reroute the narrative about Patel’s trip.
Feb. 19: News outlets report Patel used a bureau jet to fly to watch the Olympics. Williamson fires back saying the trip has been on the books for months, listing out the meetings with FBI outposts and Italian partners.
Feb. 20: Patel meets with Marines in Rome and shares how integral a role the FBI plays in securing global sporting events like the World Cup, Super Bowl, and F1. Perks of the job for a sports fan.
Feb. 21: Williamson highlights their fourth public event in Italy, urging MSNBC and CBS to correct their reporting that “purposefully misled people to think Kash was flying to Italy to hang out at the Olympics.”
MSNBC reporter Ken Dilanian asks if Patel will be at the final hockey game.
Williamson replies:
Feb. 22: Kash Patel is obviously at the game, having a pint (or 12) with the boys, who he calls his friends. Williamson, meanwhile, is still in a back-and-forth with reporters, posting email screenshots that show he told them “any personal portion” of the trip “would be reimbursed.” Would love to see the Venmo receipt on that one.
My take: Because of his instant announcement that he’d be attending the games back in July, it feels fairly obvious to me that he scheduled a number of photo-ops in Italy to justify being there for a potential gold medal game. And his reference to the FBI’s role in other tentpole sports moments (ex: he and Kristi Noem went to F1 in Vegas) gives it all away.
CONCURRENT STORYLINES
A PERFECT PHONE CALL: Turns out Trump phoned in to the locker room libations to invite the gold medal guys to the State of the Union. He makes a joke about having to invite the women’s team too or else he’ll be impeached. Liberals are level-10 raging about it online. (The women have declined the invitation.)
CLOSE ENOUGH: Benny Johnson celebrated his white pride (yes, literally) by sharing a video of a USA hockey team singing the anthem at a medal ceremony. One small problem — the video is from the 2024 World Junior Championship.
GOLD DIGGING: Listen, I’m the most anti-shut-up-and-dribble girl alive. I think sports and politics are inseperable. But I thought it was weird so many prominent accounts on the left had an old clip of Jack Hughes talking about his support for Pride Month queued up and ready to post to claim the star for their team politically as soon as the game ended.
FROM THE OUTSIDE IN: A Dem creator who goes by the name Chez Chuck posted a comment he got from a Canadian in response to all the drama above:
“As a Canadian, seeing this is like pouring acid into an open wound. I know not all Americans are MAGA, and many of you are good people but … fuck the America in this video. Canada deserved the gold if only for being the better, more humble team … and not being a country run by pedo dictators.”
TURNED UP TO 11: I was curious why everyone kept posting “cue Free Bird” (or “queue” if you’re the White House) or adding the Lynyrd Skynyrd banger to their IG stories. (Hockey is one of my blindspots). Didn’t realize it’s the official scoring song, for the men and women!
PROUD TO BU: This just feels like the right opportunity to say Jack Eichel and I were the same year at Boston University — and year, singular, is all he gave us. My best friend had class with him and would always report that the only things he’d bring to class were coconut water and his phone. Lol.
LOOSE ENDS
📝 Word I learned today: icing
icing is an infraction that occurs when a player shoots, bats, or deflects the puck from their own half (over the center red line) of the ice, beyond the opposing team’s goal line, without scoring a goal. — “Bad sequence for US that started with that bad pass from Quinn Hughes and resulted in an avoidable icing.” (via DJ Bean)
📰 Something you should read today: How not to shoot a gold medal goal — Eben Novy-Williams for Club Sportico
“Both the U.S. men’s and women’s hockey teams beat Canada in overtime to secure their gold medals, and both times the camera and production crew from the Olympic Broadcasting Services (OBS) fumbled the moment.”
🥹 Something to make you smile today: My favorite person on the entire internet is ArtButMakeItSports. There’s absolutely no one that even comes a little bit close to this level of creativity, depth of knowledge, and absolute whimsy. We are so lucky. The Olympics brought some of the best work yet. But my particular fav …
