Happy Law Enforcement Appreciation Day to all who celebrate
Lawmakers offer their hat tips and impeachment slips
If I was a conspiracy theorist I’d say “nothing is a coincidence.”
Fortunately, I woke up with two feet that touch the ground today, so I’m going to keep obsessing about identifying past parallels, like I have been all week. My newest probe started with a post I saw from White House Rapid Response yesterday morning:
“NATIONAL LAW ENFORCEMENT APPRECIATION DAY 🫡”
The wall-to-wall social blitz started there. I couldn’t remember hearing references to this celebration years prior, so I simply had to know if it was a dish cooked up in Trump’s media kitchen to exploit the tragedy of the week. Instincts proved right, timing wrong.
A group called Concerns of Police Survivors (COPS) launched the tribute day (L.E.A.D.) in 2015, to “recognize the difficult job [law enforcement officers] have chosen.” It took a little work to find the catalyzing event, continuously referred to as a 2014 “officer-involved shooting.” ThinBlueLineUSA.com cited “complex societal dynamics” creating the “need for such a day.” What could that have been?
Local news, forever of service. Officer Darren Wilson killed 18-year-old Michael Brown, setting off one of the most intense periods of protest and riots in my lifetime. A grand jury failed to indict Wilson later that year, and then-St. Louis County prosecutor, now-Congressman Wesley Bell, declined bringing charges in 2020.
The first L.E.A.D. in 2015 made pretty much no noise. But the initiative got a major boost in May of that year, when a particular shoe brand — that has remained embroiled in all kinds of political drama since — decided to offer a discount in appreciation of law enforcement. 30% off at Nike if you showed your badge … I digress.
11 years later, this honorific gains new relevance as it again finds itself tied to a fatal shooting — the facts of which are also in unbelievable dispute between the two sides. One thing remains clear: it seems less and less likely that charges will be brought against ICE agent Jonathan Ross.
Especially as key admin accounts make a big push for L.E.A.D., the vice president rules Ross has “absolute immunity,” and the White House Office of Communications blasts out a listicle of “57 Times Sick, Unhinged Democrats Declared War on Law Enforcement.” As for Kristi Noem … let’s just say that ten-gallon hat’s looking a little empty.
GO HARD OR GO NOEM
CHALLENGE 1: Lock in on the immigration chapter of the “FAFO: Venezuela” playbook. Judging by the confusion the DHS secretary caused, I have to wonder if Stephen Miller keeps writing her part in hieroglyphics and not providing a translation key.
Fox News Sunday: “Every individual that was under [Temporary Protected Status] has the opportunity to apply for refugee status.”
Getting twisted: A post goes viral claiming “Venezuelan migrants” in general can apply for refugee status, stoking the base’s fear that they’re opening the gates to millions of new immigrants.
Getting dizzy: The official DHS account responded to correct them, mentioning the fact that TPS was canceled for more than 500k Venezuelans last year, so “now they can go home to a country that they love.” Or what?
A secret third thing: The options for those who were under TPS starting in 2021 seem to be …
Do nothing, get deported
Go back to your “liberated” country that has the exact same government in place
Apply for refugee status potentially not having read the microscopic, unspoken fine print ➡️ you can’t actually do this!!! DHS then admitted that “only people living outside of the U.S. can apply for refugee status”
CHALLENGE 2: Find and pursue a clear narrative to support your employee that killed someone. No distractions. Difficulty level: Impossible. This is asking too much of a woman who is in a covenant marriage with the ghost of Spirit Halloween.
The dire risk of such a steadfast commitment to site-specific dress up is that you find yourself in the sticky situation of weighing in on a cataclysmic news event while wearing a cowboy hat that I can only guess is on loan from UT Austin’s mascot Bevo.
The unlikely reward is that you have a built-in shield from all eye contact.
