Faith-based, conservative-approved movies for kids?
Angel Studios goes all in on God, but needs some divine intervention
My curiosity borrowed five and a half hours I’ll never get back.
This happens all the time. I am the Jacques Cousteau of internet exploration. I almost always regret it, but it pays the bills so, I beat on — sacrificing my time and sanity at the altar of deep content diving. I planned to write this ahead of my vacation which means naturally, I left this three-movie lineup unwatched ‘til the very last minute.
And there I was, trying to navigate the catalog of Angel, a film studio sitting on the Mariana Trench of content libraries. An all-encompassing look at their work would be literally impossible, so I picked one genre and let the binge begin.
My interest in doing this went from a steady simmer to a roiling boil when my friend Scott Schuler published “What the Left Can Learn From A MAGA–Adjacent Christian Streaming Service” for FWIW earlier this year. He runs through the studio’s history since its inception in 2013 — including its original purpose, excluding any inappropriate moments from programming. If you’re a “30 Rock” head like myself, it’s a real-life Blah-Bar.
They found success years into their journey, crowdfunding production of TV series “The Chosen” (it’s still going five seasons later) and acquiring the QAnon-favorite film “Sound of Freedom.” The 2023 feature about exposing child sex traffickers and freeing their victims grossed $250M worldwide. It was, for all intents and purposes, a hit.
Since then, the company balances distribution of pre-existing projects and production of their own. The majority of their content still delivers on that traditional, safe-for-work, promise. It’s for this reason that they frequently collaborate with MAGA influencers on promotion of their products: Riley Gaines, Andrew Giuliani, Jack Posobiec, Rob Schneider, and more.
Benny Johnson has promoted Angel Studios projects 30 times on Twitter alone. Most recently, influencers pushed followers to see “Young Washington” in theaters on the Fourth of July. The film pulled in $20M opening weekend and $46M overall. A meh showing compared to the success from 2023.
The appeal of working with the MAGA set is their steadfast commitment to finding a way to declare a win for their side, no matter what data actually says. My favorite example: “David outperforms new SpongeBob and feminist Sydney Sweeney movies at the box office.” Stellar opening weekend performance, total box office sales be damned! (“David” ended with $90M, “The Housemate” with $400M, and “Spongebob” with $169M.)
But “David” did beat out prior Angel-distributed project, another biblical joint “The King of Kings” — featuring a cast so stacked you won’t believe me. Those two felt like required watching for my adventure, but what could make it a trilogy? The answer to that question lies, again unbelievably, with Seth Rogen, Kieran Culkin, Woody Harrelson, and more.
Here’s my review of the three animated children’s movies distributed by Angel, the faith-and-family-first studio and streamer.
Setting the Scene
All three of these movies open with an Angel Studios title card that says: “This film is approved by the Angel Guild — a growing community of” [insert number] of members. The earliest release boasted one million. By the time the third film I watched had been released, the Guild had reached two million members.
A membership costs between $119 and $179 a year. With it, you get to vote on the studio’s upcoming projects. No idea how much they weigh audience votes versus studio preferences, because I can’t imagine the third film I review got selected if it’s all audience choice … but whatever. Previews over. Let’s get on with the show.
#1: David (2025)
“A young shepherd prophesied to become king embarks on a legendary journey, guided by faith to overcome powerful enemies and claim his destiny.”
Highlights from my notes: “omggg king tries to kill david lol”
Most surprised by: I, personally, didn’t need this to be a musical. Would’ve been much faster if we were not possessed by song every seven to 10 minutes. That said, one track has proved to be quite the earworm.
“Follow the Light” has 2.7M views on YouTube and 7.7M streams on Spotify … so I’m not the only one. Looking to the light to find the answers when you’re afraid, etc. Pretty solid, non-alienating, soft-faith messaging.
Level of confusion throughout: My awareness of David was only in the context of Goliath. I knew nothing about this (lowkey significant) story, so there was a lot of Googling happening for me. What a treat to discover the actual Philistines, a people before a pejorative! Something that never got cleared up though: A white butterfly popped up four times and a stag, by my count, three … patronus??? Or what!
Final take: 80% on Rotten Tomatoes perhaps set my expectations a bit too high. There was not a single clever, funny moment which I know is a big draw for parents forced to watch a lot of kids’ movies. But, I see why this put up numbers with parents that are intentionally trying to expose their kids to faith-building programming.
It’s about relationship-building with an abstract concept for kids — “I’m a shepherd, [I] look after my sheep, and I trust my shepherd to look after me” — and how they can learn to live in line with that. “David” drives one single lesson home, like, 157 times two hours: Stand up for God in the face of non-believers and you will be rewarded. No beating around the burning bush.
Overall score: You know what, I’ll give it a 7/10 — points for being available on Netflix.
#2: The King of Kings (2025)
“Through a father's vivid storytelling, a boy journeys through Jesus' life, from humble beginnings to ultimate sacrifice, [discovering] the transformative power of faith.”
Highlight from my notes: “omg santa will try to take peter’s soul??” (satan, typo)
Most surprised by: Guys 💀, not this movie being the way I find out “Christ” isn’t Jesus’ last name. I had to rewind when I heard “You’re The Christ, son of living God” and “He has seduced the people into believing that he is The Christ.” My personal Book of Revelation.
Also, I’m surprised by my interest in the Peter (apostle) side story? I can’t verify how accurate it was because I know quite literally nothing else about him, but wow, deep lore.
Level of confusion throughout: This may shock you, but Jesus is a bit of a blindspot for me as a Brooklyn-dwelling Jew. It’s a net-positive that the move upgraded my knowledge of the most famous person who has ever lived (even Trump agrees).
That said, this is a movie about the life of Jesus … as told by Charles Dickens … in an attempt to get his son to be less obsessed with King Arthur. All respect to the OG Chuck D, but parallel timelines require an extra level of focus that I simply did not want to give.
Final take: I didn’t expect how dark a children’s telling could be. Jesus is dragged, whipped, thornily crowned, crucified — the portrayal of his death is lengthy. Not much is left implied or imagined, but based on what I’ve heard from Christian friends, this somewhat traumatic exposure is a rite of passage. Though I’m sure a Church-sanctioned kit and caboodle commits more than 90 seconds to the Bible: Pt. 1 (OT).
Jesus has transcended time, language, and nation, in part, because his message is so simple and so clear. It’d be an impressive feat by the director here if the teachings of Christ failed to compel a viewer. Ultimately, like every religious experience I’ve ever had, I am left with more questions than answers.
What did he do and where did he go post-tomb? What is the real tea on Judas? What happened to Mary Mag between this and “The Da Vinci Code” (2006)?
Overall score: 6.5/10 — criminal to rank a movie featuring Pierce Brosnan and Uma Thurman lower. Next time, Oscar Isaac as Jesus The Christ in live action, please.
#3: Animal Farm (2026)
“Orwell's satirical fable follows a farm revolution as pigs seize power, rewrite the rules, erase truth, and crush dissent — until the dream of equality becomes a ruthless dictatorship.”
Highlights from my notes: “don’t remember a drone named moses in orwell’s animal farm”
Most surprised by: How did all of these A-list actors read this script and agree to do this movie? Do they all owe Andy Serkis money? Was nitrous pumped into the room during the first table read? The only person this tracks for is Woody Harrelson who realistically reaches the necessary level of zootedness to think this script makes sense all on his own.
