“Are we running a halfway house for sexual predators in Congress?”
Swalwell tries a sinner's prayer, Trump revels in blasphemy
You’re here because you’re watching politics get body-slammed by digital culture and content creators. I’m here because I’m the only one who can guide you through it.
“There are decades where nothing happens, and there are weeks where decades happen.”
I heard Steve Bannon drop this (frequently misattributed) banger when I was at CPAC, and I wrote it down for future use. That future must’ve paid for express shipping because two weeks later, I’m cashing in my reference voucher that barely had time to ripen before use.
But what Lenin — or whoever the hell actually said that quote — couldn’t have predicted is: a 24-hour news cycle, false AI idols, viral sex scandals, delivery app grandmas, and an untethered multi-national conflict. Ok, maybe he knew a thing or two about the last one.
The 48 hours encompassing Sunday thru Monday were nothing short of a digital fever dream, even if its psychic impact went unnoticed by the more offline among us. It, like always, starts with a moment when you can’t help but wonder if we are all at the mercy of a script writer with the darkest sense of humor.
How can it be that we are gifted a side-by-side of JD Vance announcing a peace talk meltdown … and Trump debuting his new favorite son, Marco, at a UFC match? We don’t deserve things this funny!
But then the pace picked up. And by Monday night, political creators — in and out of government — were testing the limits of just how many situations I could monitor. Like, just so you can get a sense, here are some things I won’t get to in this post:
✝️ Trump’s one-way feud with the pope (tripled down Tuesday afternoon)
🥴 Martin Shkreli (remember him?) threatening members of Congress
💰 Elon’s baby mama going scorched earth on MAGA influencers
🚑 A TPUSA creator getting violently bodyslammed at an anti-ICE rally
🧑💻 The Iranian government clocking in at the meme factory
👔 The latest atrocity Sen. John Fetterman has dressed himself in
🎙️ Zohran’s 100 day jamboree — I talk about this at length here
I could write volumes about all those things. But we have more pressing matters that require our attention. What we will get to, in depth:
The real reckoning for evangelical influencers after Trump depicts himself as Jesus
A strange, staged charade at the White House makes matters worse
Who is pushing the Eric Swalwell story versus who is disengaging
WHAT WILL IT BE: CROSS OR CROWN?
I’ve never heard Trump cite scripture. His favorite half of the Bible, Old Testament or New, is famously both … “equal.” He held one up upside down in the most infamous photo from his first term. And he’s been sharing his apparent agita over being barred entry to heaven to anyone who will listen. Maybe that’s why he’s painted himself in a biblical light on quite a few occasions, just to visualize the thing he’s scared of never seeing.
His “religiosity” has always been extremely confusing to me (a Jew who goes to temple once a year), and demonstrably clear to the millions of church-going Christians who have always made up his base. Until now. His post, casting himself as Jesus, caused an uproar among his fans of faith like I have never seen. Key word: blasphemous, said by: everyone.
In just a short scroll on Instagram, I got served dozens of videos *in a row* condemning the post — most of them criticizing Trump for the first time, nearly all of them Gen Z. Of note:
Grand Ole Evan, 192k views: “Let me be clear, I still don’t regret my vote ... but good policy gets nowhere with bad PR. And this is terrible PR.”
Becky Weiss, 1.9M views: “It’s not funny. It’s blasphemy ... patriotism is not blind loyalty.”
Alexandra Lains, 69k views: “We have the president of the United States, basically sundowning ... I can be critical of my side when it calls for it … which is right now.”
Ryan Miller, 9M views: “I don’t care if you call me a lefty ... we are really tired of this. This is blasphemy.”
Amy Main, 815k views: “If we cannot acknowledge when something is wrong, the people that we’re trying to reach will never believe us when we’re right. And what are we tasked to do? Go and spread the gospel.”
But for all those who felt called to speak, of course there were many who took a deep squat and pushed those goal posts a couple inches farther. A suspicious series of posts rolled in urging patience while the president develops his “discernment.” We’re talking about a 79-year-old man here, friends. Might be a little late for that.
CHARACTER-DRIVEN ROLE PLAY
Of course, discernment is meaningless if it’s willingly sacrificed for spectacle. The WH press corps was called to gather, unscheduled — a report to which Karoline Leavitt reacted with a 👀 and comms deputy Kaelan Dorr added a ‼️.
The White House Rapid Response team live clipped the McDonald’s transaction between the president and a “DoorDash” grandma. It was bizarre from start to finish — the type of thing celebrities of the early aughts would do: if blogs circulated embarrassing photos of them one day, they’d call the paparazzi to have newer, better, staged photos take their place.
But as anyone subject to the wrath of Perez Hilton could’ve told them, it can backfire. Creators on both sides were quick to call out the uniquely American concept of backhanded charity (still workshopping this name). Something is sold to us as happy and heartwarming, but instead it reveals a deeply broken system. Example here from a huge tech right account:
Not only that … but people started to look into Miss Grandma, Sharon Simmons. Not only are her numbers not adding up under Trump’s No Tax on Tips initiative, she’s been spotted in the wild. A clip of Sharon — with, admittedly, a very different look — testifying at a Big Beautiful Bill hearing in Nevada last year went viral. Speculation simmers among those on the left that she is … a paid actor.
“SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE VICTIMS”
I’ve been a little wall-eyed in all of this chaos. While one eye is tracking and cataloguing all the nonsense laid out above, the other has been fixed on Congress. I’m gonna run through some of, what I see as, the critical elements of acceleration making the Eric Swalwell story move on social.
Rep. Anna Paulina Luna (R-FL) has not logged off, been the main lawmaker leading the charge for expulsion — vertical videos, tweets, cable hits … owning this story online
Swalwell’s video response … major hostage energy. Good time to remind people, 10M views later, that sometimes a written statement will suffice
Cheyenne Hunt who came forward with her own story is actively working on creating a safety net for women who come forward who fear losing their jobs
Successfully-expelled former Congressman George Santos is taking this opportunity to target Sen. Ruben Gallego — and he’s not the only one
MAGA influencers are soliciting tips on any and all abusers in Congress
But there’s a really entrenched liminal space here that’s going somewhat unacknowledged. In combing through the content, I noticed just how much of the creator coverage was dominated by women, many of whom are trying to carry the burdensome trauma of this story for friends and mutuals who happen to be victims of Swalwell’s. Pretty Informed Girls and Suzanne Lambert leap to mind.
I found fewer acknowledgements, let alone advocacy, from the dominant men in the left-wing media space. Brian Tyler Cohen has not covered this story, other than an interview with Tom Steyer four days ago. He has published 70 posts on Instagram since then, none mention Swalwell. Adam Mockler just uploaded his first piece of content on the subject … to Twitter where he has his smallest following (by far).
Larger networks are missing the moment as well. COURIER Newsroom has yet to cover it on their Instagram with 1M followers. The MeidasTouch Network, who got the digital exclusive of Eric Swalwell’s gubernatorial campaign announcement, is similarly mum. At the time of writing this, neither Ben nor Brett Meiselas had posted anything on their personal feeds.
Their daily news digest featured the story on the day it broke (the 10th), it was demoted to the 71st bullet without any details on the 12th, and about the 30th bullet on the 13th. Today, the trio of brothers that run the network finally addressed the story on the pod.
Brett actually did say “shout out to all the victims” in a way that reminded me of David Guetta’s shout out to George Floyd’s family in 2020. But he had other supportive words. Ben spoke for three minutes without mentioning Swalwell by name or condemning any of the behavior, instead preaching about health care, prosperity, and calling out injustice. I found this odd. Some women trying to spread the word of the abuse are disappointed and angry.
I’m gonna keep my eye on it as it develops.
LOOSE ENDS
📰 Something you should read today: How the Internet Broke Everyone’s Bullshit Detectors — WIRED, Gia Chaudry
🕵️ Someone you should know today: Watch this video about masculinization of marketing from this queen called Miranda.
🥹 Something to make you smile today: Sometimes, for just a moment, we make the right people famous. Two lovebirds were caught (what many people mistook for) arguing on the jumbotron at a Pacers game. You see her, Grace obviously, mouth at him “what the fuck are you talking about.” He shrugs in response and reconsiders the unknown position he took. It blew up because it’s really so funny. Tens of millions of views. Another million memes. A longform sitdown interview with them. Discoveries that the same couple had gone viral a month earlier when the dude panicked and brought home the ugliest piece of furniture anyone has ever seen. Former Sen. Ben Sasse weighed in after it turned out they were bickering (lovingly) about his podcast. Shaq offered to buy them an engagement ring.
The fact that it was an open secret makes it even more disturbing and depressing.
It is MAGA!